Full disclosure: I’m from away, but I’ve lived in Maine for 31 years. I used to scoff at people who whined about cold and snow, and the enviable but wimpy snowbirds who fled to Florida during the worst of the winter.
I’m sure it has to do with being AARP-eligible (and then some), but my tolerance for cold seems to be waning rapidly. I look back at my younger self who voluntarily went cross-country skiing and ice skating and shake my head. It is all deeply unappealing to me now. I must have been nuts. I force myself out to walk my dog, and I dress us both like we were at the South Pole.
I’ve become obsessed with flannel sheets, socks, gloves, fleece garments, long underwear, down coats, flannel pajamas and other ways to thwart the cold.
Just last year I finally bought a pair of Yak Trax and can’t believe I waited for so long. They really do make a difference when you’re walking around on ice and snow. (I’m reminded of a great birthday card I got from a friend a few years ago. Three middle-aged women are depicted. One starts to tell a joke: “A man walks into a bar … ,” and one exclaims, “Oh, no! I hope he wasn’t injured!” (You might not get the gag unless you, too, are eligible for AARP.)
This year my big winter purchases were getting my old, drafty house insulated and finally buying snow tires. Again, I shouldn’t have waited to do either project. My kitchen was sometimes so cold that you could open a cupboard, reach in and it would feel like a refrigerator.
There were quite a few windows that you just couldn’t sit by comfortably no matter how many layers you had on.
People who take winter vacations in the Caribbean or anywhere else warm are obviously smarter and better planners than I am.
Of course, the really smart people, like Maine’s own Stephen King, have a house in Maine and a place in Florida and repair to the South to avoid black ice, snow shoveling, chilblains and the dreaded “hat hair” of winter.
Mind you, I don’t have tolerance for heat and humidity, either. I love the four seasons in New England, and I’m not planning to move south.
I do appreciate the winter break from mowing, weeding and feeling guilty about my messy garden. I enjoy Christmas and the Thanksgiving to New Year’s season. In January if we can’t get away, we have “Downton Abbey” and the Golden Globes on TV. And thank goodness for NetFlix and the actual movie theaters.
I like cocooning, reading by the fireplace and how the house smells when I simmer a stew or bake something. I’m fine with driving on snowy roads; it’s the people going too fast (not to mention texting, too) who scare me.
Winter is fine for about a month. Then on Feb. 1, I’d like to fast forward to April. In the meantime, you’ll find me wearing a lot of fleece, eating too many carbs and wishing I could hibernate like a big, tubby bear.
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