According to H.L. Mencken, “There is always an easy solution to every problem, neat, plausible and wrong.”

Nevertheless, the Maine public insists its elected leaders deal with the state’s dilemmas by coming up with quick fixes that don’t involve lots of moving parts, don’t cost much money and make sense – so long as nobody asks any tough questions. For example:

If you’re unhappy with the election results, try ranked-choice voting. It gives the illusion of a majority winner without actually producing one.

Concerned about the influence of big money on campaigns? Pump more tax dollars into public financing. Never mind that the side that spent the most on the 2014 races – Democrats and their allies – got trounced at the polls.

Want to reduce the size of state government. Join the misguided crowd calling for a smaller Legislature. All that’ll do is reduce the amount of representation you have in Augusta, particularly if you live in a rural area.

And so it goes with term limits (helped create a less competent Legislature that still contains John Martin), universal health care (good for poor people with lots of medical issues, but a bureaucratic nightmare for everybody else), free-market healthcare (good for rich people with no serious medical issues, but bad for everybody else) and the kooks calling for a constitutional convention (because it ought to be illegal for lawyers to call themselves “esquire” and for political columnists to call people who believe that “kooks”).

Here’s the reality. Most of what’s wrong with government is the result of complicated processes that are so intertwined that sorting them out in an effective manner or, failing that, a manner that might be acceptable to a majority of voters is all but impossible. For a fetid example of such a morass, consider the Maine Department of Health and Human Services.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture is threatening to cut off millions in funding for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (what normal people call food stamps) because Maine requires recipients to have photos on their Electronic Benefits Transfer cards, which is illegal. DHHS commissioner Mary Mayhew’s response: “Federal bureaucrats are out of touch with the wishes of Mainers who are crying out for integrity in our welfare system.”

Who cares if it costs the state about 9 million bucks a year?

The U.S. First Circuit Court of Appeals has told the department it can’t cut 6,000 people who are 19 and 20 years old from Medicaid because it’s against federal law. To which Mayhew replied, “[T]he federal government is using its heavy hand to push its agenda of putting as many people as possible on a broken Medicaid system.”

Gov. Paul LePage has promised to appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, because who cares if it costs the state thousands more in legal fees?

Arbitrary limits on treatment at the Riverview Psychiatric Hospital? That might save enough money to pay for the Supreme Court appeal, even if it does put staff and patients at risk.

Failing to fill top spots at the Maine Center for Disease Control and Prevention? Even if that means DHHS couldn’t adequately respond to a hepatitis outbreak or a nurse who didn’t have Ebola, the savings can still go toward the looming shortfall in the food stamps account.

A whistleblower lawsuit for allegedly retaliating against an employee who revealed that the Center for Disease Control shredded documents showing irregularities in handing out grants? What’s another few grand for lawyers and a few hundred grand for an eventual settlement?

In spite of the court losses and the general incompetence at DHHS, most Mainers were convinced during the recent campaign that the LePage administration was catching cheaters and saving money. So why deal with complex issues when TV spots and press releases are all it takes to assuage the public’s concerns. Don’t bother hiring competent administrators or a couple of epidemiologists.

Instead, bring in a new public relations guy.

Mayhew’s flack is now David Sorensen, fresh off a stint fronting for the Maine Republican Party, where he spent the just-concluded campaign relentlessly – and successfully – attacking Democrats for being inconsistent, hypocritical and stupid.

Making DHHS look good isn’t going to be that easy.

But there’s probably another reason Mayhew added Sorensen to her team. From every indication, the commissioner is planning to run for governor in 2018. To do that, she needs to burnish her image as a relentless fighter against welfare fraud (even though she’s done little to eliminate it), while trying to make voters forget about her department’s many wasteful blunders (only a few of which are mentioned here).

Sorensen will provide the sort of enhanced persona Mayhew needs to make people believe that when it comes to problems with state government, she’s the neat and plausible solution.

Also, that other thing Mencken mentioned.

But hey, what could go wrong? Possibilities can be emailed to aldiamon@herniahill.net.