It’s true. I have been dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century. Facebook. Blogging. Tweets. Argh! (Three teenagers and a disguised business world will do that to you.)

The technology is such that an author is limited to 140 letters/characters per “tweet” (Think of it as you can only type so many words on an old IBM Selectric typewriter without hitting the right margin, making the little bell going off). It makes writers more concise. The phrases at the end, preceded by the “hashtag” symbol, are to attract researchers on the Internet – like Velcro, they are drawn to the phrase if they are researching that topic.

Here is a sample of some tweets from yours truly recently. (Twitter “handle” Twitter.com/scarborodan).

Young At Heart?

But for an injury putting up Christmas lights, I know I could have done the same aerial flips Friday as the 16-year-olds at Shawnee Peak. #aarp.

No Place Like Home

I’ve got a question: if Dorothy had used GPS to Oz, she could’ve saved herself a lot of problems, right? #theresnoplacelikebestbuy.

Moguls, Potholes, Whatever!

U.S. mogul ski team will perform today in Scarborough. Towed by cars through 39 potholes on Fogg Road. Rated on elevations, falls. #potholeolympics.

Where Are We?

Correction: If Dorothy HAD used GPS to Oz, she would have ended up three miles west of Emerald City down a dead-end dirt road. #in75yardsturnleft.

Cash Of Thousands

Other than Bristol Palin, there is no one I am seriously considering for the Presidency in 2016. #mycountrytisofthee.

Oh, Canada!

I’m picking the mayor of Toronto tonight in Best Foreign Comedy and Melodrama for the YouTube video by his drunk brother. #theenvelopeplease.

“And She’s Like, And I’m Like…”

Do you know people who begin every fifth sentence with “so?” Don’t walk away. Remember, change starts with you. #ifyouseesomethingsaysomething

Brrrrr

At high school hockey games, want to ask, “Can we turn up the heat?” But if I did, my late mother would just say, “Put a sweater on.” #momswords.

And The Winner Is

Oscar picks are official, just described by Matt Lauer on Today Show as “amazing,” “incredible” and other middle school adjectives. #mattlauer.

Bible Stories

Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will ask you to go for car rides that go past Kittery Trading Post. #manup.

The Genius Bar

Just @Apple. Thinking of having my employees wear green dress shirts, call them Really Smart. Level with me: smart move? #marketinggenius.

Heerree’s Johnny

If you watch Jimmy Fallon, Seth Myers back to back late night and don’t receive jokes you ordered, contact Time Warner for refund? #nbclatenight.

True Or Not?

“Three things every man thinks he can do better than every other man: build a campfire; run a motel; manage a baseball team.” #smokeyburgess1947.

Do As I Say

Hannity this afternoon? President is cowardly because U.S. has not invaded Russia yet over Ukraine invasion. Will you go, Sean? #chickenhawk.

Boogiemen

Today, cover of SI shows half-naked “models.” Rolling Stone shows half-naked J Biebs. And we’re worried about global warming?! #apocalypse.

Bar Joke

A nun, God, Sean Hannity, walk into a bar. Sister says, “McAuley won!” God says, “Can anything ever defeat us?” Hannity says: “Obamacare.” #haterade.

Streetfighting Men

Rather than play hoop vs. Portland High boys, I would rather do less physically harmful things, like stick needles in my eyes. #portland50hampden34.

Quick. Here She Comes!

First Lady visits D.C. hoop tourney. Concession stand switches from French fries, fried dough to raw veggies, fruit. Kidding! #junkfood.

Music Spat

Eagles concert last night in N.C. They finally gave in and let Don Felder do vocals on “Hotel California.” 45,000 fans exited quickly. #eagles.

Frozen Brain

The kid in “Christmas Story” who stuck his tongue on the cold playground pole that was a bad idea, right? #timetogrowup.

That is all for today. Follow me on Twitter. I’ll follow you. #whodathunk.

Dan Warren is a Scarborough lawyer. He can be reached at jonesandwarren@gmail.com.