WINDHAM – Brian Babb, the 25-year-old Windham man who took his own life on Saturday, Feb. 2, was a feisty practical joker, scruffy, proud and opinionated – as well as a consummate race-car enthusiast who was allergic to self-pity of any kind, say friends and family.

According to his mother, Sandra Bushley, Babb spent the better part of the last 10 years coping with a mysterious set of debilitating ailments – never definitively diagnosed by doctors – that included frequent bouts of vomiting, diarrhea and, toward the end of his life, kidney stones. In recent years, and especially in the summer of 2013, Babb’s health seemed to take a turn for the worse, forcing him to skip races and take more days off from his job as an office equipment installer with Earl W. Noyes & Sons. According to his mother, Babb was reluctant to complain about or discuss his chronic stomach problems.

In a five-page note that he left for friends and family, Babb wrote that he did not want to be a burden on his family or his longtime girlfriend, Katie Moran, 21, whom he lived with on Hall Road in Windham and shared a passion for racing at Beech Ridge Motor Speedway in Scarborough.

In talking extensively about Babb, both Moran and Bushley were open and frank about his life.

“He left something for Katie,” Bushley said, referring to the note. “He told her he wanted her still to race and how much he loved her. He was sorry. He just felt like she needed someone that was maybe not as ill as he was to take care of her. He told his sister how much he loved her.”

Moran said that in the weeks leading up to Babb’s death, her doctor had said that she might need to undergo surgery to remove polyps – a recommendation that has since been rescinded. According to Moran, Babb alluded to her forthcoming operation in his note.

“He said that he couldn’t bear all of our coming experiences with our health problems, whether it be surgery or who knows,” Moran said.

“He always took care of me,” she added. “I don’t know why he would say that.”

Moran and Bushley said that they had seen no advance signs that Babb was suicidal.

“I don’t think he was thinking right,” Moran said. “It goes against everything that he’s ever said. It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

“He said, ‘Please don’t blame yourselves for not seeing this coming, I didn’t either until recently,’” Bushley said, referring to Babb’s note. “So it wasn’t a planned thing.”

Moran met Babb at Victory Lane, the now-closed indoor-karting venue in Portland where she worked, about five years ago. Moran said that Babb raced at Victory Lane every Friday night for five months after meeting her.

“He paid for his races so he could have an excuse to talk to me,” Moran said. “He came into my work, and he was all competitive – we both are – and he challenged me to a race. He was all cocky and everything. I’m pretty sure I beat him. We fought about that to this day, but I’m pretty sure I won.”

In those early months, Moran said, she caught an initial glimpse of Babb’s competitive spirit, when they raced each other at Victory Lane.

“I was winning and he was right behind me on the last corner, and he spun me out, and he always laughed at how big my eyes were when he spun me out, when I realized it was him,” Moran said. “He had to use the winnings to pay for his rent, that’s why he spun me.

“I liked him for it, because other people would be like, ‘Oh, I can’t spin out a girl,’” Moran said. “But Brian didn’t care.”

According to Bushley, Babb frequently raced his ’80s-era Monte Carlo in the Mad Bomber division at Beech Ridge Speedway, where his grandfather, Robert Bushley Sr., was killed in an accident in 1974. Babb used the number 13, the same number as his paternal grandfather, George Babb, who also raced at Beech Ridge.

Moran, who often races in the ladies division at Beech Ridge, said that she and Babb socialized with a large, varied group of racers from the speedway.

Along with an abiding interest in American history – Civil War history, especially – Babb was highly particular and emphatic about his favorite music, which included Pantera, Johnny Cash, Alice in Chains and Clutch, according to Bushley.

“He didn’t like any other kind of music besides rock, and if you didn’t like it he would make you listen to it until you still didn’t really like it, but you were like, ‘Yeah Brian, that’s good,” said his sister, Lauren Babb.

Lauren Babb said that although her brother teased her occasionally, he cared deeply for her, as well.

“He was really protective over me,” she said. “No one else could say anything bad about his little sister, or anything, really. If they were picking on me, he didn’t like it.”

According to Moran, Babb was dedicated to the ideals of personal responsibility and strength, both in himself and others.

“He always told people to man up,” she said. “If he was joking, if someone hurt themselves, he always told them to man up or walk it off. He always worked for everything that he had. He was a hard worker.”

Moran said that Babb’s concept of strength and independence emerged partially out of his pride in his extended family, which included soldiers, loggers, and, of course, race car drivers.

“He was very proud of them,” Moran said. “He wanted to be a strong guy just like them. He didn’t believe there was an excuse for not making your life the way you wanted it. He believed that everybody has the power to make something of themselves.”

“He was a very unique person,” Moran said. “He was outgoing, outspoken, actually very honest with his opinions. Sometimes he didn’t really care if people wanted to hear his opinion, but he told them anyway. He was very smart. He knew a lot of interesting facts from all aspects of life. He always beat me in Jeopardy. He had a very different sense of humor. Of course, very opinionated whether it was about politics – he didn’t really follow politics – all the way around to why he doesn’t really like Hollywood.”

Moran and Babb often talked about getting married, she said.

“We knew we were going to get married,” Moran said. “Everyone knew it. We always talked about what type of kids we’d have. Where we’d be in life – houses and cars, and everything, where we’d be in racing. I thought that we were going to have a long life together.”

“He kept telling me all throughout the note, ‘I love you so much,’ ‘I’m sorry,’ ‘I love you so, so much,’ ” Moran said. “We had a good life together. It’s just hard to see why he would leave.”

A funeral was held Feb. 7.

Brian Babb