This week, instead of dreaming up derisive comments about our elected officials (and those who wish they were), I’m devoting this space to the most fascinating insights produced this year by the state’s alleged leaders (and those who wish they were).

In other words, here are the 10 stupidest things said by Maine politicians in 2013.

And no, they didn’t all come from Republican Gov. Paul LePage. While LePage is more heavily represented than anyone else, that’s mostly because he talked more than anyone else. For instance, carpet-bagging GOP 2nd District candidate for Congress Bruce Poliquin enhanced his chances of finally winning an election by having his lips sealed with Gorilla Glue. And Democratic state Sen. Troy Jackson, also a congressional hopeful, avoided inclusion by failing to utter a single coherent sentence.

And now, the winners:

10. “You guys, you’re idiots and you’re just as bad if not worse than those other guys.” That’s LePage, during an obscenity-laced rant at independent state legislators in January, after those representatives suggested repealing tax cuts to balance the budget. The “other guys” were apparently Democrats, who can, indeed, be idiots. For instance:

9. “This is a Republican party and a conservative legislator who is desperate to try to realign a gender gap that their party faces at the polls, and a representative who needs to kind of soften her hard edges.” Ben Grant, Democratic Party chairman, said that in a radio interview. Grant was trying to justify the unanimous opposition of his party’s legislative leadership to a bill sponsored by Republican state Rep. Amy Volk that aimed to help victims of human trafficking.

8. “Every single bill – until the hospital payment is passed – is going to be vetoed.” LePage, again, this time from a March radio interview, urging passage of his plan to reimburse hospitals for overdue Medicaid payments. He enhanced his credibility by promptly forgetting he ever said this.

7. “We need jobs that pay a living wage, and marketing jobs, telephone jobs, don’t pay very well. They say they have access to health care benefits, but they don’t provide them. So, we need to drive jobs in here from outside that pay a good living wage and provide benefits.” That’s Democrat Larry Gilbert, candidate for Lewiston mayor, during an Oct. 17 debate, dismissing the $2.4 million renovation of a vacant downtown building by a marketing company owned by a former Republican congressional candidate. Gilbert lost the race in a landslide.

6. “What discretionary funding? If there’s discretionary funding, I’ve been there more than two years and I haven’t found any.” In May, LePage told victims of arson fires in Lewiston they were out of luck if they expected aid from his office. After a week of negative reaction, he finally discovered that discretionary cash and sent a check for $50,000.

5. “I don’t even know where Nathan Clifford school is.” Portland City Council candidate Greg Blouin responding to a question from Bangor Daily News columnist Chris Busby about whether he supported the controversial sale of the historic building to a developer for $1. Blouin got buried at the polls.

4. “If you plug one leak, it’s going to come out from the other side.” Democratic state Rep. Robert Saucier gushed out this remark in March, trying to explain why he opposed a bill that would have banned publicly funded candidates from also operating political action committees. The measure was killed in a bipartisan vote, so the stupidity was widespread.

3. “This isn’t easy stuff for anybody. But it’s better than the alternative.” Democratic state Rep. Adam Goode’s halfhearted attempt in the Bangor Daily to justify balancing the budget by slapping a sales tax on amusements and some services, an idea that’s

been rejected five times in the past decade.

2. “Finally, as [you] may know, this bill is a political [lightning] rod … and given the short session and how much bipartisan work is ahead of us, I voted to keep this bill out of the mix.” Democratic Senate President Justin Alfond sent out this email explaining why on Nov. 21 he joined with Republican leaders in blocking a Democratic bill that would have included a plastics additive in the list of chemicals deemed unsafe under state law. Alfond supported allowing a bill to expand Medicaid into the upcoming session, even though it, too, is a “lightning rod.” This led to speculation he’d made a deal with somebody for something, a rumor he was stupid enough to publicly deny.

1. This spot could have gone to LePage saying, “Obama hates white people,” or to his claim that 47 percent of Mainers are drags on society or that he has a secret $47 million surplus. But none of those top this June outburst: “Sen. [Troy] Jackson claims to be for the people, but he’s the first one to give it to the people without providing Vaseline.”

For once, Jackson had an excuse for being incoherent.

If you’re not at a loss for words, email me at aldiamon@herniahill.net.