Confused week in Zip Code 04074 land…weather can’t decide if it is summer or winter (nights!)…do we let dogs run on beaches unleashed?…will Town Council Chair Ron Ahlquist run for re-election, or will he go off to pursue other interests? And if he does, do we allow that leashed, or unleashed? Kidding, Ron!

PHOTOSHOP THIS

Big controversy with Down East magazine. Ran photo on cover of Bridge to Orr’s Island. Shopped out the utility poles and wires! In Scarboro, been there, done that. A 1975 tourist brochure for town was needed at old blockhouse across from Anjon’s, Route 1. Then-Rotary President Frank Hodgdon did one. Put Town Hall on cover, but “touched up” the negative with secretarial “white out!” So, unpainted building suddenly looked “painted.” Scandalous at the time. Frank was ahead of his time…

PUT DOWN THE LATTE AND NOBODY GETS HURT

Is Starbucks coming to Scarborough? In the old Cumberland Farms on Route 1? I heard that rumor the same day Starbucks urged its customers not to pack heat while sipping there. Can you imagine SHS kids going in for $4 paper cup of coffee and somebody in front of them drops a gun on the floor? Can you say letter to the editor?!

YOU CAN SEE ALASKA FROM MY FRONT PORCH

In the l970s, it was popular for Scarborough people to uproot and move to Alaska. Work on the pipeline. Make scads of money, etc. I remember a bunch of the Shorey family going. Apparently, things are heating up again with Alaskan oil production. I got a card from a former Scarborough resident. It contained a cartoon-type check for $900.

“I did nothing to earn this,” the note said. “Just staying alive and breathing!” Can you imagine, e.g., Scarborough people getting checks each year just based on the number of lobsters in the water?

OVERHEARD IN LINE AT THE GAS STATION

“You know, I actually LIKE the stuff Governor LePage says. Kind of a kick in the derriere to a lot of people. I just don’t really dig what he DOES…” Think the discussion was about low-income and elderly getting on or off some type of aid lists.

GOOD SAMARITAN SAVINGS AND LOAN

A homeless guy in Boston last week found a backpack that turned out to have $40,000 in cash or travelers checks in it at a mall. He turned it in to authorities. Since then? A fund was set up. Apparently, people have contributed about $110,000 to the fund for the guy. Wow. That is the amount he found plus 300 percent interest!

NICE STORY

A fast-food worker in Minnesota was waiting on customers. He saw a customer pick up a $20 bill that had been dropped by a blind customer. He confronted the customer. The customer said, take a hike. So when the blind customer got to the counter to order food, the worker gave the lady a $20.

FUNNY VERSION OF NICE STORY, SORT OF

Former Scarborough state Rep. Vern Lent was a funny guy. He told a similar story: “Little old lady is in her accountant’s office. She says, what do I owe you? He says $100 is fine. The bookkeeper is there to hear it all. The client hands the accountant some money. He walks her to the parking lot. On the way back, he realizes she has handed him two $100 bills, not one. Immediately, he has an ethical question: does he tell his business partner?” Badoombup. Not sure why he was picking on CPAs. Must have been their turn!

CLIMATE CHANGE? GLOBAL WARMING?

Both sides in this debate continue to play “weather ping pong” with anecdotal evidence. The latest there are two photos of an iceberg off Ammassalik Island in Greenland. One is from 2007 and shows an iceberg of a certain size. There is another photo from this year. Shows not that much melting. And the beat goes on.

I am no meteorologist (though I once played one on Cable TV at Town Hall), but it sure seems like things go up and down and back and forth. I also can believe that all the chemicals we use, hair sprays, spray paints, etc. probably put stuff in the air that may eat away at what is supposed to be the natural cover over the hot sun. But perhaps I am crazy? (Don’t answer that).

That is all for today.

Please leash your dogs and exit the beach near the Clean Up After Your Dog sign. Make sure he or she does not jump anyone. Thank you.

Dan Warren lives in Scarborough. He can be reached at jonesandwarren@gmail.com.