Fascinating week in Zip Code 04074 land with kids going back to school, and the talk on soccer fields turning to bombing Syria, Jack Nicholson retiring from acting, and a tourist complaining to police about getting bad seafood at some local restaurants.

Let us examine each of these three, shall we?

THE HARD LIFE OF YUPPIES

Overheard at dry cleaner: “If I didn’t get my child back into school, and out of my hair, this week, I thought I would explode! People don’t realize how hard it is to watch a child all day long.” OK.

MAIL ORDER WAR

Some politicians have finally realized that the wars of the past decade have NOT affected the average American, there is no draft. Kids enlist in the military. Often, it is for economic reasons (cannot get a job, cannot afford to go to post-high school education, or need to get my life in order, etc.). Thus, people do not contact their Congressional representatives and say vote against war.

A guy at The Ballpark at OOB this week told me (proudly) that he was an exception to this rule: “A guy I work with has a kid who used to deliver his newspapers every morning on his moped! That kid is now in Iraq or Afghanistan, or somewhere over there. A guy in his platoon, or regiment, got a foot blown off by one of those roadside mines.” I’m convinced.

JACK IS NOT BACK

Jack Nicholson is done with movies. He says his memory now is shot. He not only can no longer memorize scripts. He cannot even be prompted by a person just off camera with a line that needs to be said 6 to 8 seconds later. (A show of hands, if this sounds like you).

Top three Nicholson movies: 1) Five Easy Pieces; 2) Last Detail; 3) Chinatown.

GREATEST GENERATION ZING

Little known fact the World War II guys, now in their late 80s and early 90s, are “backbreakers” when it comes to humor, and striking back in situations with humor.

Author Kurt Vonnegut, who survived the horrific bombing of Dresden, Germany, found survival and psychological survival, e.g., by writing some offbeat humorous novels, “Slaughterhouse 5,” and “Cat’s Cradle” among them.

HIROSHIMA, YOU? NOTHING FAZES ME

An 88-year-old I know just spent a couple days in Maine Med undergoing tests for dizziness. He was cooped up in his room most of the time. His generation is active. He did not dig this. At 2 a.m., he announced he was going to walk around the hospital’s corridors for exercise. Nurses took turns telling him not to, dangerous etc. “Maam, I was trained at the age of 20 to be prepared to do things like drop hydrogen bombs from airplanes over places like Hiroshima, Japan. Do you think I am the least bit interested in what you have to say about my going for a walk?” No?

OMAHA BEACH, LITTLE LEAGUE DADDIES? SAME DIFFERENCE

A 91-year-old D-Day veteran has been involved with encouraging high school boys to play American Legion baseball since l946. He was told by Little League daddies that Legion baseball “competed” with the Little League programs for boys of the same age. He was told that Legion coaches were not welcomed in Little League bureaucracy. He exploded: “We have bought more bats and balls and gloves for little kids, and held more Red Cross blood drives for their relatives in the hospital, and provided a good place for these little boys to play ball. In 10 years, when they get older than any of you fellows will do in the three years that you will be involved you all get in to help your sons, then get out when your sons get out. I was on a ship bombed by Adolph Hitler in l944 off Normandy, France. If you think I am going to get out of your way so you selfish small-timers can be ensured that your sons make All-Stars, you need to spend more time studying U.S. military history, and less time with your camcorder on Saturdays at The Big Game. We look out for all kids. 1946. Next week. And 10 years from now. When you are long gone from baseball and drinking martinis at Sugarloaf. ” Ouch!

WORLD WAR II GIFT SHOP’S SPECIAL OF THE WEEK

A veteran at the Scarborough Historical Society wore a hat that had the greatest slogan in recent memory: “BACK TO BACK WORLD WAR CHAMPS 1918; 1945.”

God, I hate it when I see an idea I wish I had.

NEXT WEEK

Phil Martin Youth Baseball Award Winners…Scarborough Mock Trial Kids Update…Camp Ketcha $$ Rejuvenation??…Local Nascar Etiquette Disputes!

Tray tables up. Electronic devices off. Please prepare for departure.

Dan Warren lives in Scarborough. He can be reached at jonesandwarren@gmail.com.