DEAR ABBY: I have had a friend since grade school, “Dennis,” and have maintained a friendship with him throughout our lifetime. Dennis never married and lived with his parents until both died about 10 years ago. He now lives alone.

Dennis does not seem to want to take care of himself hygienically, and since we work together it is becoming a serious problem. Some of the other guys don’t want to be around him. He doesn’t bathe often enough or appear to brush his teeth daily.

I have tried repeatedly over the years to talk to him about his apparent lack of cleanliness, and now that he is almost 60, it is becoming unbearable. People are starting to avoid him.

Dennis is a good person and will do anything for anyone, but this lackadaisical attitude is something we can’t overlook. How can I get it across to him? He just doesn’t listen or take me seriously.

— IN NEED OF FRESH AIR

DEAR IN NEED: Because Dennis’ poor hygiene is affecting his relationship with his co-workers, the person to address the issue is his supervisor or boss. While Dennis may ignore or dismiss your attempts to help him, when he hears from his employers that he has to clean up his act, he may pay more attention.

DEAR ABBY: For the past year I have been an old friend’s lover. I’m a widow; he is married. I don’t want him to leave his wife because she has been through a lot with him, including alcohol addiction. For the past few months he has given me excuses for not seeing me. We had gotten together on a weekly basis until recently.

I have all the emails and texts we have sent each other, along with pictures and a journal I have kept throughout the relationship. Should I send them to his wife? They have had a long marriage, and he has cheated on her repeatedly for the last 25 years.

I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about our affair. I just need to know if I should let his wife know what he has been doing. Yes, there is jealousy and revenge involved, and no, I haven’t talked to him about what I suspect because I’m not sure how to broach the subject.

— THE OTHER WOMAN IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR OTHER WOMAN: I know you are hurting right now, but I see no reason to punish the wife for it. I’m sure after all these years there is nothing you could show-and-tell the woman that she isn’t already aware of — except that you, a friend, betrayed her. Leave her alone. If you want confirmation of your suspicions, take it up with your lover.

DEAR ABBY: I’m 15 and my brother is 19. He still lives at home and recently acquired a water cooler — the kind you see in doctors’ offices. He has it sitting in the dining room and, frankly, I hate it! It’s unsightly and unnecessary.

My parents allow it to stay there. They have never cared much about how their house looks. I do most of the cleaning. Is there any way I can convince them to remove the water cooler? It’s not the kind you see in home magazines.

— WANTS A NORMAL HOUSE

DEAR WANTS A NORMAL HOUSE: Ideally, a water cooler would be placed in a kitchen. However, if there isn’t room for it in your parents’ kitchen, and meals are shared in the dining room, that’s the logical place for it. I can’t see why the water cooler would embarrass you. Most people’s homes don’t resemble the layouts you see in magazines. They are an “ideal” folks aim for until reality compels them to organize their living space in a way that conforms to their needs and budgets, rather than their desires.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend for three years. We get along well, but he has the most annoying habit of gnawing his fingernails. It is constant, and he hardly has any left. I find it repulsive and embarrassing when we’re out in public.

I have asked him repeatedly to stop. He says he has done it all his life and I should stop nagging.

If it were the other way around and I knew something I did bothered him, I’d try my best not to do it because I loved him. I know most people have habits, and this is more of an addiction. What can I say to make him stop? — BITING OFF TOO MUCH IN S. CAROLINA

DEAR BITING: Nail-biting is typically related to stress and anxiety. There are ways to stop, and he should talk about it with his doctor. Beyond suggesting that he make an appointment, nothing you can say will “make” your boyfriend change his behavior. Because you find the habit repulsive and embarrassing, the question it’s time to ask yourself is whether it’s a deal-breaker, and no one can answer that but you.

DEAR ABBY: I am 20 years old and have been in a relationship since I was 15. I never had a childhood. At 14 I became an adult and never got to experience any teenage freedom. I realize now that I’m not ready to settle down with anyone, but I know he is. I am unhappy, but I’m afraid of hurting him.

I am the type of person who would hurt myself before I hurt anyone else. I think I’m ready to experience life as a separate individual, but I don’t know how to tell him. He always said this would happen, but I denied it. Now I realize he was right. I don’t know how to start the conversation. Please help me.

— NOT READY TO SETTLE DOWN

DEAR NOT READY: You are the type of person who would hurt yourself before you hurt anyone else? While that is altruistic to the max, it is a dangerous way to live your life. In a case like this, better HE should cry for a short time than YOU should cry for the next decade or so.

A way to start the conversation would be to say: “We need to talk, and I need to be honest with you. You were right when you said this wouldn’t last — and I was immature and inexperienced when I said you were wrong.”

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago, my oldest sister, “Olivia,” loaned me $3,000 at a time when I was struggling to make ends meet. I promised to repay the loan at the end of the year.

The time came and I wrote her a check for the full amount, but she didn’t cash it. She said she didn’t need the money and the loan was forgiven.

Fast-forward 20 years: While Olivia has remained financially stable, I am now in a better place financially because of an inheritance. After learning about this inheritance, Olivia asked me for the money back!

Because I can afford it, I plan on repaying her, but I can’t get over her surprising request. Do you have any words of wisdom to help me make sense of this?

— UNSETTLED SIBLING

DEAR UNSETTLED: Your sister may have forgiven the loan all those years ago because she thought repaying her would have caused you financial stress. Now that she knows you’re well able to give her the money, she would like to have it. You and I don’t know why she’s asking for it, but trust me, there is ALWAYS a reason.

DEAR ABBY: I have been talking to “Ricky” for about two months. I’m 28 and he is 27. A couple of weeks ago we decided to date exclusively. This morning, Ricky found out that his ex is three months’ pregnant with his child. I knew he was last intimate with her three months ago, but we were both kind of shocked.

I don’t have kids and I prefer not to date men who do, let alone one who has a baby on the way. However, I do care about Ricky and could definitely see us together. After this bombshell, I’m not sure what I want to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

— THROWN FOR A LOOP IN PHILADELPHIA

DEAR THROWN FOR A LOOP: After this bombshell, the person who has some serious decisions to make is Ricky. Will this cause him to reunite with his ex-girlfriend? Is the baby really his child? If so, what will be his responsibility financially and morally? If he stays with you, do you WANT to help raise another woman’s child?

Until you have a better idea of what lies ahead, my advice is to do nothing. You have known Ricky for only two months, and while you could see a future for the two of you, can you also see one that includes the three — or FOUR — of you? I’m including the ex in the equation, because she’ll be a part of it. Forever.

DEAR ABBY: I quit drinking three years ago. I realized I had a problem, addressed it, and I’m now sober. I never was a big drinker socially. I drank alone.

When I go out with friends for dinner, they usually rack up a large liquor bill, which is evenly split. Occasionally, I’ll ask that the liquor portion of the bill be subtracted from my tab, but doing so makes me feel awkward.

I enjoy going out with these people, but I don’t want to add another 20 to 25 percent to my tab. What’s your advice for addressing this situation?

— SOBER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SOBER: Congratulations on your sobriety. A way to avoid being charged for the liquor your friends consume would be to quietly advise the server at the start of the dinner that you would like a separate check.

Dear Abby at www.Dear-Abby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.