I don’t think it was Einstein, but someone equally smart once said, “Everything is relative. From a small plane an uncle looks like an ant.”

Like I said, I don’t know who first said that, but I’ve always assumed that the person was immediately taken to the woodshed and soundly thrashed for such a play on words.

Don’t ask me why, but I thought of that quote recently after reading that, once again, Route 3 between Ellsworth and Bar Harbor has been designated by some freelance list-maker as one of the worst bottlenecks in the country.

Forget for a minute that there must have been something more important that these people could have been doing. Also forget for the time being that Acadia National Park, which is on Route 3, is one of the most popular tourist destinations in the country and roads to popular places do occasionally get crowded. While you’re forgetting those things, forget this, too: Most people heading to a popular destination understand that other people might be going there, as well, and therefore there may be delays.

So, what did bottles ever do to get their name attached to something called a “bottleneck study?” According to a recent study by researchers dressed in lab coats and safety glasses, the road that connects the mainland to Mount Desert Island is among the top 25 most congested tourist destinations in the United States.

The classification left some local officials and summer visitors scratching their heads, and prompted a number of diverse reactions. Proving that bottlenecks are all relative, one tourist said, “What traffic? We’re from Southern California. This is beautiful compared to what we’re used to.”

A local official expressed concern that the route’s status on the list might scare away some tourists. Officials of other Maine towns demanded to know why their local bottlenecks didn’t make the list. A resident of Skowhegan said, “Have these researchers ever tried to get through Skowhegan in summer when people are heading to camp or to the lake? It’s chaos down there. I’m a little miffed that we weren’t mentioned.”

Someone who identified themselves as some kind of town official said that the Naples Causeway, otherwise known as Western Maine’s Manic Mile, has to be one of the worst bottlenecks that any group of traffic engineers ever devised. “Can you believe we only got ‘honorable mention?’”

If you ask my opinion, Route 302, otherwise known as known as Western Maine’s Hysterical Highway, could beat any stretch of Route 3 in a fair and unbiased study.

The bottleneck status came as no shock to the person who designs roads for the state Department of Transportation. Eventually his plans become cast in sand, gravel, cement and blacktop.

“Frankly, I was surprised that there weren’t a couple more Maine towns” on the list, he said, almost sounding miffed. He then reeled off Camden, Rockland and Freeport as contenders.

Also omitted was Meddybemps. When asked if he was miffed that his town wasn’t mentioned, a longtime Meddybemps resident said, “We’re not miffed by much in Meddybemps.”

John McDonald is the author of five books on Maine, including “John McDonald’s Maine Trivia: A User’s Guide to Useless Information.” Contact him at mainestoryteller@yahoo.com.