Next Monday, the last Monday of May, we stop to remember and honor those who have died – especially those who have died in the defense of the nation. Although Memorial Day, as we know it today, was established by Congress in 1971, the practice of remembering fallen soldiers goes back more than 140 years.

In 1868, the commanding general of the Grand Army of the Republic began the practice of decorating the graves of those who had died in the Civil War. What began at Arlington National Cemetery in 1868 came to be known as Decoration Day, and in the years following this spread across the country, first in the North and then after World War I, in the South.

That original focus remains present today, but it has increasingly taken a back seat to the recreational aspects of the weekend. There are those who mark the graves of the fallen, but many of us also see this as a day away from work; more a day to play than to remember. Indeed, Memorial Day is now a federally sponsored three-day holiday weekend marked by picnics, barbecues, trips to the beach, the mountains and to the lake. For some, it is more a marker of a change of seasons than a remembrance of the fallen.

We live fast-paced and often overly structured lives, so a time to play isn’t a bad thing. And yet, it is important that we stop and remember – and not just those who have died in service to the country, but all who have gone before us. As we remember family and friends, mentors and teachers, who no longer walk with us, we discover our identity and purpose in life. We are all reflections of those who came before us. If we can re-imagine Memorial Day, we can see it as a celebration of the legacy that has been left to us.

Our need to connect and to remember from whence we came drives the recent interest in genealogy. By tracing back our family tree, we discover our roots and find our place in history. By remembering, we can grow and find healing. When we remember, we can take responsibility for both the good and the bad that is our history. We can acknowledge our need for forgiveness and restoration. By remembering, we can make peace with the past so we can embrace the future. That would be a worthy goal for a celebration of Memorial Day.

Celebration can happen in many forms. It might involve placing flowers or a flag on a grave. Or it might simply involve taking a moment to remember someone who has died, someone whose life impacted your own life. As we remember, we should give thanks for those who no longer walk with us in the flesh, and yet remain deeply embedded in our hearts. Indeed, part of the celebration of Memorial Day involves giving thanks for those who gave us the freedoms, liberties and rights we hold so dearly.

On this Memorial Day weekend, I will stop to remember and give thanks for those whose lives have made a difference in who I am and what I shall become. All those that came before me are set in the mosaic of my life. As an unknown author once wrote, “If I could reach up and hold a star for every time they’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.” I am eternally grateful for my family, friends and also those who served in defense of my country. I honor your memory and will never forget the gifts you have given.

Daniel Parenteau is a freelance writer who resides in Biddeford. His column appears every other week. Find his blog at danielparenteau.com.