My favorite things about Thanksgiving are sitting with family and friends, enjoying the meal my sister cooks, watching my nephews toss a football around, and lounging and laughing for hours after stuffing ourselves with pie. The last thing we want to do is leave the house to go shopping; we have nowhere to go, no one to see, because we’re already where we want to be, with everyone we want to be with.

Now this favorite of holidays for many, precisely because of millions of gatherings like ours, may soon be compromised by someone’s idea of an “improvement.” As a recent National Public Radio story quipped, “Black Friday is quickly becoming Black Thursday.” Already under way, it’s appalling that yet more stores are opening their doors on Thanksgiving evening this year, forcing people to work on a holiday that they’d rather have off.

In 2011, Americans spent $11 billion on Black Friday. It’s great that businesses do so well on the kickoff of the holiday shopping season. Truthfully, though, people are going to shop, sales or not ”“ even a recession didn’t stop American consumers from spending on the holidays. There have been reports of retail employees being pinned against merchandise and shoppers being injured from the crush of people throughout stores on Black Friday. The chaos is bad enough, but it’s the priority to spend and save, on whatever is on sale, that bothers me.

My good friend, who grew up in a Maine mill town similar to Biddeford, lamented, “Rather than thoughtfully selecting gifts for loved ones like we used to, people pack stores on Black Friday for ”˜deals.’” This got me thinking about how my parents and their parents spent the day after Thanksgiving and how they went about shopping for Christmas in Biddeford-Saco in the post-World War II years.

As kids, my mother, Annie Kerry, and her siblings shopped at Wellwoods, a five and dime store on Main Street in Saco; they could make small purchases with what they earned from a paper route or baby-sitting. She remembers her mother and aunt dashing off in a taxi every Christmas Eve to stores on Main Street in Biddeford. My mother recalls that when the shopping spree was over, her mother would go to midnight Mass to sing in the choir, happy as a Christmas elf. My mother admits that she doesn’t enjoy Christmas shopping like she used to. The crowds are too big and the holiday itself has become too commercial.

My father, Mike Petit, and his three sisters and brother, would go to Wortman’s in OOB or J.J. Newbury or Woolworth’s on Main Street in Biddeford, where they’d buy small gifts like glassware, candles and chocolate. Now, my father waits until the last minute to shop and remembers to thank me, his youngest daughter, for wrapping all of his holiday gifts on Christmas Eve. He also mentions most of his shopping is now done online, since he wants to avoid the mall crowds.

Both of my grandmothers had a Christmas Club at the savings bank. Credit cards weren’t invented yet, so they’d put small amounts of money in the Club throughout the year until Christmas and start up again after Christmas. Additionally, many merchants provided layaway plans, which helped families keep the holiday affordable. These options made debt-free, albeit modest, Christmases possible ”“ and huge deal days, like Black Friday, unnecessary.

I surveyed 10 people on whether or not they shopped on Black Friday. One person said yes, the other nine gave answers like my father, who said, “I’ll shop on Black Friday if the only other alternative is shoveling out the outhouse.” When asked about the day after Thanksgiving, my dad said his mother and aunts had packed up leftovers for husbands and uncles to take to camp for their annual deer hunting weekend. My mother and her family watched football and spent the day catching up on everyone’s lives.

I adore the entire holiday season; God willing, families are together and everything is prettier and brighter. As for Black Friday shopping, the sales likely will be there the day after. Even if the one, coveted on-sale item is sold out, you can get another item; none of us can get time missed with loved ones back.

— Nicole Petit holds a bachelor’s degree in history and a master’s in American and New England studies. Petit has spent the past 10 years working for nonprofit groups that deal primarily with disabilities and child welfare. She is originally from Portland, but has strong family ties to Biddeford/Saco.