Most of the single moms or dads, custodial grandparents and adoptive parents across Maine are every bit the parents my wife, Martha, and I strive to be to our three young boys. Like us, they provide unconditional love, enduring devotion and a nurturing home to the children in their care..

Given that, I have one question for these parents.

Where is the outrage when you hear the argument that a household headed by a married, biological mom and dad like mine is really the only proper environment for raising kids?

If you have ever been responsible for a child, you know family resemblance does not a great or even an adequate father or mother make. Superb parenting comes in all shapes, sizes and, yes, sexual orientations, and it is time that the laws of Maine reflect these realities.

A video on the Protect Marriage Maine website suggests that we know, statistically, that a so-called natural marriage between a man and a woman creates the best possible family for children. The same video tells us that children will be the losers if we alter this primary purpose of marriage and asks, “Doesn’t every child deserve a mom and a dad?”

The entire argument strikes me as wrong, disrespectful and dangerously simplistic.

I am a dad who has counted the minutes until reinforcements arrived back from the grocery store. I do not need a study to tell me that, together, my wife and I have far more parenting capacity and ability than either of us would have alone.

But the same would be the case if I were married to a Marvin instead of a Martha.

This newspaper considered Protect Marriage Maine’s assertions about heterosexual marriage and kids as part of its Truth Test series. The analysis did in fact find studies and statistics that suggest children do best when raised in committed, dual-parent households.

However, straight versus gay was not a consideration in these studies. The Truth Test analysis concluded it was false to imply the statistics fit Protect Marriage Maine’s desired conclusions.

As a self-assured dad, I think it is silly and a little insulting to suggest that a committed and loving gay couple receiving a civil marriage license could threaten old-fashioned heterosexual marriage and parenting.

The choices other consenting adults make will never have an impact on how I love and raise my kids. To suggest otherwise is disrespectful to me and every other parent committed to doing right by their kids.

Marriage between a man and a woman is an ideal partnership for conceiving and raising children. It is a biologically functional arrangement with, one would hope, the added benefit of love and stability.

But the reality of family life today is that heterosexual marriage often fails kids, couples and society. Here are some facts to consider:

The most recent vital statistics summary available from the Maine Department of Human Services website is from 2003. It suggests that each day of that year Maine averaged 30.2 marriages and 37.9 births.

Every day of that same year, 15.8 marriages ended in divorce or annulment. Ten percent of Maine births were to girls under the age of 20. And a third of all births, 12.7 per day, were to unwed mothers.

The 2011 annual report from Child Protective Services says that 6,769 cases of abuse or neglect involving 13,709 children were assigned to caseworkers. Another 1,456 allegations of low to moderate severity involving more than 3,000 children were assigned to contract agencies for response.

In 20 percent of these abuse and neglect cases, the living arrangement involved a married, two-parent household.

In 2010, 575 kids were in foster care waiting an average of 3½ years to be adopted. That same year, 65 youths in Maine aged out of foster care without a permanent family.

There are thousands of reasons why we need more committed, stable households in Maine. And every one of them has a name and a heart-wrenching story of abuse, neglect, hunger or abandonment.

Loving, traditional marriage is an ideal and it is here to stay. But it is not the only arrangement for raising wonderful, well-adjusted kids. We should be encouraging and celebrating every relationship that has a chance to provide a loving and nurturing home for a child.

And that is exactly what will happen if we go to the polls on Tuesday, Nov. 6, and make it legal for committed gay couples to marry in Maine.

Freedom and fairness are reason enough to support gay marriage. But kids matter more, and I will be voting “Yes on One” because two dads are better than none.

Dan Demeritt is a Republican political consultant and public relations specialist. He is a former campaign aide and communications director for Gov. Paul LePage. He can be contacted at:

dan@win207.com

Twitter: @demerittdan