Have you ever heard the saying, “That gave me the willies,” and wondered where it came from?

According to a legend described by poet Heinrich Heine, Wilis are the sylphlike, vengeful ghosts of young maidens who have died of broken hearts before their wedding day.

They dance about at night in the forest in their wedding gowns and veils, in hopes of ensnaring any man traveling in their path. They proceed to terrorize him to his death, making him dance till his heart ceases.

Heine’s tale was written into the romantic ballet “Giselle,” about a peasant girl who falls in love with Albrecht. But Albrecht is really a duke, betrothed to a noblewoman, and the truth eventually surfaces. The betrayal causes Giselle to go mad, and her already weakened heart gives out. She dies and assumes her fate as a Wili.

I am a Portland Ballet Company dancer, and I was excited to learn I had been cast as Myrtha, Queen of the Wilis, in our upcoming production of “Giselle.” In the past, I’ve always been the “good fairy,” the Sugar Plum Fairy, the Fairy Godmother, the smiling, warm persona. I feel quite comfortable in that role, but always wanted a chance at something with darker emotions.

So who is Myrtha? As the Queen of the Wilis, she commands her sisterhood of maiden spirits from their graves each night to seek their male prey. Myrtha is pure dark energy: She is driven without any thought or awareness to seek revenge. She no longer remembers the love she once experienced, nor is she willing to witness it in Giselle and Albrecht. She is unyielding, unforgiving, unhuman.

I teach ballet to 10-year-olds, and their first question was, “Well, who broke Myrtha’s heart?” I wish I knew what happened to Myrtha, and how she became queen. Was it because her heartache was the worst? Or has she simply been around the longest?

To prepare emotionally for this role, I have allowed whatever dark matter that may be lurking to come to the surface. At this point in my life, there is usually something. Or perhaps I have simply become more aware and less affected by my dark side, so I can safely play with it.

But we all agree that every woman has had her heart broken, and can call upon feelings of anger, frustration, disappointment and despair. So, this is the perfect cathartic role.

Working with Associate Artistic Director Nell Shipman is always a rewarding experience. She brings her clear, strong vision and directorship, but it’s balanced by her sense of humor and flexibility.

I am sharing this role with Morgan Sanborn. A split cast is a good idea for lead roles, giving two dancers the opportunity to grow, and keeping us healthy. It’s too much to dance Myrtha or Giselle twice in one day.

Albrecht – well, we have only one Albrecht, so it looks like he will suffer twice. It’s all part of his character anyway, right?