Between the ages of 2 and 6, children are more likely to experience and express their fears. As a child learns about his own aggressive feelings, he will become afraid of them — and of aggression in other people and situations.

A small child is torn between facing how small he truly is and how badly he wants to be big and powerful. The conflict between his aggressive feelings and his ability to control them may well call up new fears of things in his life, including dogs, noises, darkness, heights and strangers.

The following advice applies not only to parents, but also to other caring adults who want to help a child handle his fears.

• Listen carefully and respect whatever the child tells you about his fear. Help him see that it is natural to be afraid and worry about things.

• Reassure him that what now seems scary and overwhelming can be handled, and that as he gets older, he will learn to overcome his fear. Look under the bed or in the closet for witches and monsters with the child, but don’t get too agitated. Let him know you both know they aren’t there, but that every child worries about them. You can be accepting of his feelings without conveying that the witches and monsters are real.

• Support the child as he struggles to find ways to handle these fears. Let him regress. Let him be dependent, let him cuddle his “lovey” and be a baby at such a time. He won’t want to be a baby for long. Even as you hold him, you’ll feel him try to squirm away. Then you can commend him for his bravery and for being so “grown-up.”

• Help the child understand the reasons behind his fears. Talk about how he’s trying to venture out and stand up for himself, and how all this is scary.

• Use his own terms. Don’t get too intellectual. It won’t help him if you are talking about abstract concepts that he can’t grasp.

• Talk about your own fears at his age, how you learned to overcome them, and the trivial fears you may still face. “I always used to feel funny before going to a party. Even now I stand at the door until I see someone I know or have met and then go talk to them. You’ll learn how to do that, too.”

• Take the child out alone with you each week to do things together. This companionship opens up the possibility of his confiding in you — and, even more important, gives him a chance to identify with you. If he’s worrying about his own aggression, he can learn how to be safely aggressive — in the ways that you are.

• When he finally conquers his fears, point this out to him so he can learn from his success. You can refer back to the achievement when other new fears or challenges arise.

If a child’s fears, or fearfulness in general, begin to take over his life and affect his capacity to make friends, then you should seek professional advice. These fears may be the child’s way of crying out to you for help.

Ask your doctor or nurse for help in finding a therapist. He or she, or a clinic connected with the nearest large teaching hospital, can give you a referral to a mental health professional trained to work with young children.

Questions or comments should be addressed to Dr. T. Berry Brazelton and Dr. Joshua Sparrow, care of The New York Times Syndicate, 620 Eighth Ave., 5th Floor, New York, N.Y. 10018. Questions may also be sent by email to:

nytsyn-families@nytimes.com