DEAR ABBY: It has been a difficult year. The brother of one of my dear friends had a massive stroke and she is now his caretaker. Another friend’s 15- year- old son recently committed suicide, and a third friend’s 23-yearold daughter is in the late stages of MS. I also have several friends who are dealing with cancer.

I always feel lost about what to say or how to reach out and help. How do I respond in these situations?

HURTING FOR MY

FRIENDS

DEAR HURTING: You don’t have to say anything profound in order to be supportive. The way to respond is to do for them what you would hope someone would do for you in similar circumstances. Call your friends regularly and keep them informed about what’s going on. Ask how they are doing. If they need to vent, listen. If you have spare time, offer to cook them a meal, do some laundry, or give them a few hours to run errands by keeping their sick relative company. I’m sure it will be appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 20- year-old mother of a 1-yearold boy who means the world to me. I was raped two months ago and recently learned that I am pregnant. I am scared to death of telling my mother.

When my son was born, his father left for his tour of duty in Iraq and I moved in with her. She is 57 and has helped me out in every way she can since he was killed on his mission. I love my mother dearly and don’t know what I would do without her, but I am at a loss about how to tell her about this pregnancy. Your advice would be appreciated.

SCARED TO DEATH

DEAR SCARED TO DEATH: Your mother should have been told about the rape when it happened. You should have also informed the police, and received counseling and emergency contraception and medication to prevent an STD. If you haven’t seen an OB/ GYN, schedule an appointment immediately to ensure that the baby you’re carrying will be born healthy.

You also need to tell your mother before your pregnancy becomes obvious, so the two of you can decide whether you can afford to raise another child or if you should place the child for adoption. Please don’t wait. The longer you do, the harder the discussion will be.

Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.