We haven’t done stretching exercises lately – reaching across the desk and into our neat, not overly ostentatious but now seldom-used mailbag. That’s because all our mail from readers now comes electronically by e-mail. Sorry, USPS, but it’s true. A recent e-mail arrived from Chris from South Harpswell:

“John, I’ve read your column for years now but have never e-mailed before. I just had to write when the following question popped into my head. My wife, Becky, and I were at the mall the other day (but our other habits are good) and I found myself in a shoe department of a big store. While waiting for Becky to find the shoes she wanted – assuming they exist in this galaxy – I heard a customer ask the salesman if she could have her foot measured with the ‘metal foot thingy.’

“Although I knew and the salesman knew exactly what she was talking about, I also knew that the strange metal gizmo she was asking for more than likely had a more formal name than ‘metal foot thingy.’ When I had a chance. I asked the salesman what ‘the foot thingy’ was really called. He said he had no clue, because he usually worked in electronics and was only helping out in shoes because of the Christmas rush. Right then, John, I thought I finally had a reason to write you. I’ve always figured you to be something of a ‘word’ guy and I also figured if anyone could tell me what the real name for the ‘metal foot thingy’ was, it would be you. So my question this morning is simple but important: What’s the ‘metal foot thingy’ really called, John?”

Some people with a thinner hide than mine might feel a tad insulted being asked such a seemingly numb question. But, most people are aware that as a radio talk show host and columnist, I’m supposed to know everything. I’m also supposed to stuff my head with some of the most useless information that ever the mind of man or woman compiled.

The fact is, Chris, I do know what the “metal foot thingy” is called and I’m not ashamed to admit that I know a whole lot more.

I was once in a shoe store waiting to be served when I heard a salesman ask a colleague, “Mike, where’s the new Brannock Device?” A few minutes later the colleague appeared holding a “metal foot thingy.”

Later, when I asked the salesman about the device’s name, he said he had no idea where the name came from and then asked if he could get me a pair of shoes.

While being fitted for a pair of hiking boots, I noticed that the name was printed in bold, raised letters, right there on the thingy – Brannock Device. Like you said, Chris, I am something of a word man, so I took out my low-tech iPad (a pad and pencil) and wrote down the name.

Then I decided to do a little research. I figured the name was probably that of the inventor, like the clever Maine-made device – the peavey – used by loggers. That tool was named after its inventor, Joseph Peavey of Bangor.

Turns out the Brannock Device was patented in 1927 by a Charles F. Brannock, who was a student at Syracuse University at the time. As you might expect, Charlie’s folks were “foot people” who owned a shoe store in Syracuse. They say the son’s prototype Brannock Device was made from metal parts from his boyhood erector set.

Brannock’s clever device has changed little in almost 85 years, but they say the company is thinking of coming out with a digital Brannock Device. Next they’ll want to go metric, and who can blame them?

The famous “metal foot thingy” finally goes digital, then metric. Is this a great country, or what?

I hope you appreciate the fact, Chris, that I answered your question without using any corny phrases like, “if the shoe fits,” or “starting off on the right foot.”

But there I go again, putting my foot in my mouth, instead of putting it in a digital Brannock Device, where it belongs.

John McDonald is the author of “A Moose and a Lobster Walk into a Bar,” “Down the road a piece” and “The Maine Dictionary.” Contact him at Mainestoryteller@yahoo.com.