“Well, I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer, The future’s uncertain and the end is always near.” ”“ Roadhouse Blues, The Doors 1969

“When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, “Come and see.” I looked and there before me was a pale horse! Its rider was named Death, and Hell was following close behind him. They were given power over a fourth of the earth to kill by sword, famine and plague, and by the wild beasts of the earth.” ”“ Book of Revelation 6: 7-8 circa 50 A.D.

When I woke up this morning at 4:45, I wish that I had gotten myself a beer. Instead, when I opened my curtains, I was looking at the one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the Pale Rider known as Death. Of course, I’m taking a lot of literary license with the vision I beheld.

Instead of the skeletal figure of the Grim Reaper envisioned in the Book of Revelation, I was looking at the corpulent figure of a Weekly Renter (WR) sashaying in from the beach in an ill-fitting, beer-stained T-shirt. Most disconcerting, the flowered bathing suit was horribly small. It was a vision to scare the bejeesus out of a God-fearing man ”“ that would be agnostic me. Churches are for funerals and I have little doubt that that ashes-to-dust thing is all there is. However, this morning held a worse fate: The Weekly Renter had declared the End Times were near by erecting a “Don’t Tread on Me” flag on property he does not own.

I was tired and hadn’t gotten either a beer or enough sleep or put on my glasses and I coulda been wrong about what I saw. Under that T-shirt, WR appeared to be wearing what I trust was a cell phone. After all, this is Maine and everyone but me and The Bride has a gun. I used to be comforted by that thought. No longer. Besides, who brings a flag symbolizing hate and a gun on vacation? Musta been a large cell phone and case.

When I was growing up, only the police and criminals had guns and you could tell who was whom. Now, Tea Partiers are declaring a Second Amendment right without ever knowing that there are two versions of the amendment. En masse, they appear never to have read the Constitution or Declaration of Independence. That’s why the WR’s declaration was so unnerving.

Nevada senatorial candidate, Sharron Angle, has warned the United States Congress that she wants “Second Amendment remedies to ”¦ deal with a tyrannical U.S. government.” Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann is holding a Tea Party caucus in D.C. which leaders of the Republican Party have declined to attend. Ms. Bachmann, like her American idol, Sarah Palin, has gone rogue. The clear racism and radicalism of the Tea Party Movement scares even conservative Republicans enough to distance themselves from the Tea Party’s anarchistic and violence provoking stance. Even leaders of the Party of No, John Boehner (R-Ohio) and Eric Cantor (R-Va.), refuse to be taped, photographed, or associated with Bachmann. Many Republicans in Washington have distanced themselves from TP’ers but not here in Maine. Neither Senators Olympia Snowe nor Susan Collins has repudiated the Tea Party and its radical, racist views. To her shame, last week Senator Collins gave $750 to Paul LePage.

Paul LePage, a creationist and a Tea Partier, is the Republican gubernatorial nominee. He’s also a businessman who has helped create minimal wage jobs with little-or-no benefits. Remember, the last businessman we had as governor was Angus King who somehow managed to turn a $500 million dollar surplus into a $500 million dollar deficit; so much for a businessman’s business acumen. Mainers should demand a fair, livable wage and not accept the slavish, Tea Party mentality. Which gets me back to my Weekly Renter and his offensive Don’t Tread on Me flag.

First, it’s yellow, a universal symbol of cowardice and disease. As for the rattlesnake, it has no eyelids, is always awake, and we all know how the snake tempted Adam and Eve into eating the Forbidden Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge which led their expulsion from Paradise. Eve, of course, is blamed with committing the Original Sin. This flag, originally a symbol of the American Revolution, has now become the symbol of a violent, hateful movement, the Tea Party.

It’s mid-morning and WR is sunning himself beneath his fluttering flag. Somehow, he seems to be taking comfort that Hell is “following close behind him;” a sure sign of the Apocalypse.  As for me? I’m gonna get myself that beer ”¦ or maybe three.

— Paul C. Trahan’s column appears Mondays. He lives in Saco.